Best Husband Ever

I am such an ass sometimes. In my attempts to explain to Gids that he should have haggled more with the auto dealer for our (possibly) new van, I get the distinct impression I made him feel horrible, when he was walking on air just before when he called me to tell me he had found such a great van.

We got into this whole Needing a New Car predicament as a result of a wayward grocery shopper who was turning out of a parking lot. This driver failed to notice my husband clipping along in the normal moving traffic, and ended up sidswiping our good ole 88' Volvo sedan when he tried to turn out into the traffic flow. Not a big deal, the driver side door was a bit less than perfect, but we were hopeful for simple repairs to make it all okay.

Nope.

We were told two days ago the car was officially "totaled," that is, they refuse to spend such an ostentatious amount to fix the beater, and it is cheaper to give us blue book $$ and send us on our way.

Problem: It was our only car.
Problem: We only have their paid-for rental until Wednesday.
Problem: We have a really terrible debt-to-income ratio since we have one income, even though our credit isn't too terrible.

Hrm.

So that brings us to today....after two days of feverish hunting, Gids noticed a sale at a local dealer. He goes in, they get to chatting, and we end up applying for financing on a 2004 Ford Freestar. Not as hip, well-engineered, or functional as a Toyota, VW, or a Honda...but nice, if even in a sort of soccer-mom-ish sort of way. We rented a Windstar a couple of years ago for a trip, and it was not a bad drive, so I am okay with what we ended up with.

BUT (and you know there always is one), we could have saved a few thousand dollars if my husband wasn't one of the nicest people in the world (next to say, the Dali Lama and Mother Theresa). He is such a nice guy, he doesn't see big-ticket capitalist transactions as aggressive battles waged between consumer and salesperson. He just sees it as something very benign, very human, like brushing your teeth or buying lettuce.

Ultimately, the humanity of it all woos him into letting them win, since he really knows that all working class people are in the same boat. Deep down, he knows this guy is trying to do the same thing he does every night at the high-end hotel restaurant he waits tables at....protect his bottom line. A very human bottom line. He wants this guy to succed, to be able to support himself as much as the tips on sales of martinis and surplus bottles of wine help to support our family.

Ah, well. We get screwed all the time by these companies. I am proud to be married to such a big-hearted human being, even if it means we could have saved a couple of thousand dollars. I am sure we make up for it every year by doing all the things that being married to each other allows us to do....like cloth diapering, breastfeeding, eating vegan, shopping at thrift stores, etc. He shares the big and small loads of life with me so we don't have a lot of expenses we normally would have---we don't eat out a lot, he doesn't buy endless gadgets we don't need, and we have zero childcare costs since he is willing to work nights while I go to WSU.

He is egalitarian, cooking and cleaning too, so I don't feel bogged down and require babysitting for all five kids just to go out and get over feeling trapped and SAHM-burned out. He shares homeschool duties with me so I don't truly lose it and take valium to make it through the day. Our relationship doesn't suffer from power-plays and guilt trips that cause him or I to run out and buy over-priced comensationary gifts or crap for holidays and anniversaries because we can't feel good about ourselves the rest of the year.

Best of all, he consistently has been my best friend for all these long years, keeping me delighted and always able to reach my potential as a mother, student, and citizen of earth. He has made living the way I want to live completely possible.

So what if he can't haggle? It makes me love him all the more.

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We find out Monday if the car dealer can get us a loan from a local credit union. Until then, the shiny new van sits in front of our house, tempting us to fall in love with it until we get our green light to keep it.

Crossing fingers, crossing toes.